In Her Own Words…

In my own words, my story starts like this. I took a yoga class that led me to make a doctor’s appointment to assess the hard-moving painful lumps that I discovered on my own. I was told I was too young, but an ultrasound was ordered. Lacking urgency, I didn’t make the ultrasound appointment until five months later. In one day, I had an ultrasound, my first mammogram, 3 biopsies and pretty much received my diagnosis on the spot. I waited the weekend before I met the “team.” The team that I would be with for the next year of my life. This was not how I thought turning 30 was going to be. 

I received my treatment calendar and at the same time I found out that the family history of breast cancer I understood was larger than I knew. Given the family history, I was tested and confirmed positive for the BRCA gene mutation. Knowing that chemotherapy was coming first, the team suggested freezing my eggs and creating embryos. Starting a family was on our minds and we were being told that it had to be put on hold, well really frozen. I completed an egg retrieval and then began my first chemotherapy treatment. 

The side effects of chemotherapy stunk! For me, water had the taste of butter, napping became a norm, and hair loss happened quickly. Wasn’t I already losing enough by eventually having my breasts chopped off? I made it through the “bad” chemo and continued on Herceptin for the Her2 diagnosis. Surgery came and went. I remember looking at my real breasts and the next thing I knew I had purple lines all over me and I was waking up in a bed groggy with family asking questions. It wasn’t often that I saw family or friends. It was mostly in a chemo chair or in a hospital bed. Of course, there were exceptions.

Treatment ended exactly a year from my diagnosis date. I was diagnosed on February 20, 2015, and I completed Herceptin on February 23, 2016. It’s amazing the dates that are ingrained in your head. After this, began the part of the story many don’t know or understand. The doctor checkups went from every three weeks to every three months to every six months. I continued on tamoxifen with hot flashes on and off each week. I tried going back into the work office and work life had changed without me. It was hard to transition back without the support I once had. I started having panic attacks on top of the anxiety I already had even before my cancer diagnosis. I wasn’t sure about where I fit in with family, friends, and at work. I started to look at my body more in the mirror. What were these scars from the collarbone to my abdomen? Was my hair coming back black and curly? What happened to my long blonde hair? Would my husband and I be able to grow our family? Would my husband still love me? So many questions each and every day! 

I am six years from diagnosis and over five years from completing my treatment. For me, the five-year mark was a celebration! I made it! The story continues as my husband and I struggle to have a second child after a complicated experience having our first child with egg donors and surrogates. With an estrogen-positive diagnosis and BRCA mutation, I have had my fallopian tubes and one ovary(due to a cyst) removed and will soon have my other ovary removed.  My hope is that my story will go on for many more years. I am doing my best to make sure that it’s not just about breast cancer, but also about being a mom and a wife, a breast cancer advocate, an entrepreneur, and a resilient young woman that is going to make a difference!